Hair

Tuesday, the 19th of August 2014, I shaved my head in anticipation of my hair falling out post chemo. It was an intimate group of friends and family all gathered together at Sherri's Cut Company. Kelly, my hair dresser, was amazing! She prayed for me as we all stood in a circle and held hands before that first cut. I was emotional and Casey was there to take pictures of the whole ordeal.  It wasn't until I saw Jaelyn crying that I really lost it while I was getting my scalp rinsed off after the hair cut. There's something so personal about hair. For me it means that without it, people stare and know that I am sick. I hate that. I liked hiding behind my hair and acting normal even though cancer has taken over my life. No one knew it. To others it may mean I'm a survivor. I have to look at it like that. "I'm a survivor" seems weird to announce as I'm still not in the clear because I'm having treatments. But once they cut out my cancer, I was officially cancer-free. I will feel like a survivor after I complete the treatments I'm suppose to take. My mom reminds me that I used to have cancer. But not now. She's right too.

Day 4 after Chemo-Round 1

These last 4 days have been pretty much miserable, getting sick every time I stand up or move. But I think we are starting to see the end of that. I have found that if I push food in even when I'm queasy, it seems to help.  I'm finally able to get up and do stuff for myself.

We switched my hair appointment to Tuesday at 7pm so it's more private. The shop is closed on Tuesdays and this way no one I don't want there will be. It's emotional for me the way it is. I am very anxious over it.

This week, I have an echo on Wednesday but that's the only doctor appointment I have. Erik is going to come with me because it's so early in the morning and because I don't know how I will feel. I have to say, he has been a trooper through this. Not knowing what to do. Feeling helpless. I just reinforce that he taking care of the house and kids is helping me more than he knows. He is such a good husband for putting up with me and my requests. I love him for going through this with me. The kids are being helpful and doing their chores for me. Evan played cards with me yesterday and let me win because I have cancer. It's sweet. Jaelyn cooks me grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. Avery randomly came up and gave me a hug (something he usually doesn't do so it was a treat.) Braden has been a little more emotional worrying about me too but overall the kids are handling round 1 of chemo alright.

I dread going through this again and again for 15 more rounds. I am praying they will be easier on me.

Day 1 after chemo

Not feeling well-still throwing up/dry heaving and nauseated. Luckily I had to goto the chemo suite for my neulasta shot this morning and they suggested I stay for fluids via IV and meds-more steriods and nausea meds. So I stayed. I made my hair appt for the 20th for my head shaving. That's only in like 5 days! Scary! I'm leaning on others to be strong for me because I'm not feeling it today. 

6pm-I took a three hour nap when I got back from getting my fluids and woke up feeling just a little dizzy but good enough to eat supper. Knock on wood I haven't puked yet. Erik taking kids to practices and to friends, I have little boys with me. I pray a good night of sleep gives me energy tomorrow! Having a little more hope now that my head is out of the toilet.

First Chemo Day

1:50pm-Today is my first day of chemo. After begging Dr. Khoury to give me the go ahead even without a current echo on file, I'm sitting here finally getting my concoction. Three different chemos over several hours. So far so good. They gave me an antinausea medication called Aloxi which is suppose to last 3 days. Then some Decadron, a steroid to help with reactions I assume. We are starting with my cytoxan, the epirubicin, then 5FU. They had no problem accessing my port. It only felt like a pin prick. Erik took the day off to be with me. Love that man more than life itself! He's been overly attentive and loving. Just what this nervous Nelly needed! I went to a support group (which I said I would never goto) on Monday night and met 14 cancer patients/survivors. Two of the ladies from group (both named Debbie) came to my first chemo! One brought me snacks and came specifically to see me. And the other one volunteers for Can Care, a cancer organization and just happened to be volunteering today in the chemo suite. Shelly Is taking kids to dinner and a movie tonight so I can rest when I get home. Everyone is so kind and helpful! I have awesome friends!!

 

8pm- Have had a headache for a couple hours and have been nauseated since leaving the grocery store to pick up my Zofran. I ate some chicken noodle soup and crackers before laying down for a nap for my head and took Zofran. Zofran makes me dizzy and can cause headaches. I woke up and threw up. Time to get the Phenergan out. So we will see when I wake up if that helps or not. I expect to sleep until morning.