Lord help us please

Today in about 30 min we leave to take Erik to the airport to fly to Iowa to be with his Burbank family as they wait for grandpa Wendell to pass. So many emotions as I see grandpa on FaceTime laying in that hospital bed surrounded by his loved ones. With Erik leaving that leaves me to move Avery to college Thursday and Friday all alone. I'm very anxious about that. What if the car breaks down? What if I don't know where I'm going? I'm leaving my baby at a foreign place and don't know when I will see him again before fall break in October! Not only that but he has been told he has an enlarged right ventricle and it needs cleared by cardiology before he can play ball. What if that doesn't get done Thursday and he has to have additional testing? Where will we get that done and how will he get home to do it? Will he miss class? I am still waiting to hear about when my Ct scan will be this week and I start my new meds Monday. Which freaks me out and makes me nauseated already. All these worries and none of its happened yet. I'm a mess! Anxiety ridden mess! Is this my new normal? When will Satan stop attacking us and when will I learn to give it completely to the Lord? I'm sure all this will work out the way it's going to and should. I'm sure there will be surprises along the way but overall no one will any worse off. Yes, grandpa is dying but soon he will not be in pain or discomfort and soon he will be reunited with grandma Bobbi. So in the grand scheme of things life will go on. And so will my life. I still hate writing updates on Facebook and having people say they are praying for me and my family. Why? Because I feel like they are feeling sorry for me and making it seem like I'm already dying. I'm totally not! Not even close! Just overwhelmed with a new diagnosis and a new plan of care. I love the prayers, don't get me wrong but I hope to soon put up good joyous news on Facebook to praise God in this storm!