Big Changes In A Short 6 Months

Things have been quiet until about 3-4 weeks ago in the Team Sheldon 6 household. Well, not quiet since I have four busy kids but normal busy. No worries about anything cancer related. No thoughts of it actually. Then at my 6 month visit with Dr. Khoury, I get the news that my CEA level was 7.4, elevated as normal is less than 3. Where was that stemming from? He ordered a bone scan and CT scans of the chest, abdomen, and pelvis since my lovely insurance company would deny a PET scan. He went from wanting to see me in 6 months to 6 weeks with all these tests completed. I had the bone scan and after it was completed, I looked up and saw it. Bright as day. A spot on my T8 vertebrae. Couldn't be! But the nurse who got the results quickly left me a message that I would need an MRI of the thoracic spine to rule out any abnormalities. I had that the very next day. The radiologist who read the report at Kingwood Hospital chalked the spot up to a "schmorl's node". Which has something to do with degenerative disc disease and getting older. I was having pain in my spine and wasn't convinced this was that. I was persistent about asking for a CT scan to look closer at that spot and my doctor caved and ordered it. I mean, I was having the other CT scans so why not add another? I also pushed to have my scans earlier than originally scheduled by about 2-3 weeks. My mother's intuition sent red flags up about that node diagnosis that everyone was playing off. I didn't buy it for a second and I was so uneasy about waiting for the results. I had the CT scans on Tuesday. Tuesday night I worked and was wanting the report in the morning. It was noon before I heard anything and after hearing, "The doctor wants to you to come in for results", I sort of turned off my brain. In my experience with cancer and as a nurse, that was never a good thing to hear. I made my appt Thursday morning at 8:45 with Dr Guo, one of the oncologists in the group as my doctor was out of the country. She was so pleasant and kind! I felt bad that she had to tell me the spot when compared to my scans in December had grown from a 4 mm lesion to a 1 cm lesion in seven months. Because of that growth while even on tamoxiphen, a hormone suppressant I take daily, I was now considered a stage 4 metastatic cancer patient. Breast cancer with mets to the bone. To top that off they found a 9x9 cm cyst on my right ovary. Those were checked out several years ago and considered to be "ovulatory cysts" so I wasn't surprised about having one, just the size of the one I had in there. When pushed on, it is sore otherwise it wasn't causing me any problems. I left the office 30 minutes later in shock over hearing I am now advanced in my cancer and it's back. I was enjoying being in remission! I am sending a kid off to college in a matter of a month! What is happening? We brought a copy of the CT scan to my OB/GYN office for Dr. Boyd to evaluate and she made me an appt to see her and discuss my options for treatment on Friday morning. Erik and I sat in the same parking lot when we first were diagnosed in May of 2014 and cried together as we called our moms. We called a family meeting for 11am with the kids and told them. Hardest. Thing. Ever! I have never wanted to look them in the eyes and give them this news. To tell them that a stage 4 is treatable but not curable is devasting. I held Evan while he cried in my arms and watched as Jaelyn quickly excused herself to her room to be alone in her thoughts and tears. Avery and Braden were stoic and clammed up. Neither had questions for me. Erik's mom came over just to sit with us before our next appt of the day, the plastic surgeon. See, Dr. Gill was found to not be taking my insurance anymore and so I had to switch my plastic surgeon back to Dr. Berzin. We had a nice visit to establish a relationship and decided that having a reconstruction surgery was probably not in my best interest while my health was unstable. It would most likely cause an uproar in my immune system and not allow my body to attack and spend energy on the cancer, but instead, the surgery site. Not a good idea if I didn't need the surgery. I am ok with that for now. He was such a peace for us. Amy and Stuart came over with food from Erik's work for supper. It was nice to talk to them about stuff. Avery had his girlfriend and his friend over and so the kids were distracted and playing games together. Overall, a much needed night. I'm not sleeping well the past three nights. Taking benadryl and still my mind races and I wake up. I'm hoping getting this down on the blog helps. Facebook has been blowing up with private and public messages. I have gotten a few phone calls even. It surprises me that people are wanting to come to Humble to visit me. I am not up for that right now because I'm still working night shift full time and raising busy kids. It's stressful to have people come visit. But I get where their heart is. I'm just not up for entertaining people right now. Maybe once the schedule at work slows down I will be more apt to inviting people to come into my home and visit from out of town. I pray people don't get upset in my decision. I just need time to process and get a plan in order for my treatments. I see Dr Khoury next Thursday with repeat labs and to make a game plan and time line. Then I will know more. For now, I wait and soak up every moment with my family I can have.