Frustration and Random Thoughts

Lots of scans have been done since my last post. I've had the colonoscopy which didn't really amount to much. They took a polyp and it was fine. The prep for that sucks by the way. Don't want to do that again for a while. I've had MRI's, ultrasounds, mammograms, and Pet scans. I've had severe scanxiety  each and every time I have to wait for results. Also thinking the worst. I've started going to a support group for metastatic cancer, the 3rd Wednesday of each month, thru MD Anderson in The Woodland's. I've met people worse off than me whose hope has been stripped from them. I've met people who have a deadline...DEAD line. I've met people that have outlived their doctors prognosis. I still have hope. I am however curious as to how much time my doctor thinks I have. Because in all honesty, I don't want to waste my time working and being away from my family if I only have a few more years left with them. I know work though makes me have a purpose and it's a safe place, where I don't have cancer when I'm there. I just have so many questions that I want honest answers to and yet I'm afraid of who I can share the information with because I'm protecting those I love. I've talked to a therapist but it really didn't help. She didn't tell me anything I didn't know already. And I felt stupid. I think I need a therapist with MD Anderson. Someone who knows what cancer patients go through. I'm all over the place in my thoughts.