Christmas Eve chemo

Erik is off today and got to join me at chemo. They are cutting my Decadron down from 10 mg to 4 mg. Hopefully I won't be up all night with insomnia this week because we are doing Christmas bright and early. I brought all the girls at chemo and Abel starbucks gift cards. It feels good to give back even if it's just a little gesture of appreciation. 

Weeklies Are A Breeze

I've now been to four weekly chemo treatments and haven't had any side effects from it so far, except some insomnia from the steroids they give me the day of chemo. No nausea however and I still have my energy. My mother in law and friend have both come with me on separate occasions and Erik has gone twice. I am sure I could drive myself to and from. That's how good I feel. 8 treatments left! 

Fourth round

I did it! I made it through the fourth cycle of my "bad" chemo. (I giggle as I say that because honestly NO chemo is good chemo.) But I graduated and now will move forward to weekly chemos. It might be harder, might be easier. One thing's for sure is that I am about to find out. Erik has been by my side through the thick of things like a great husband. He helps around the house and with the kids. I couldn't do it without him. 

Round 3

It's now Saturday, two days after my chemo and I actually have managed to keep my meds down which is making this a much better round than the last two. I have a standing order for fluids if I need them next week. Speaking of next week, I turn 40! I hope to have a great day on my birthday, with no nausea. The doctor cut my epirubicin dose down by 20% which I'm thinking is making this a better round. But I have to admit it scares me a little. Will having less of a dose help keep the cancer away? I guess I have to trust in the power of prayer that it will.

Round 2

Today was round two of chemo. I really wasn't looking forward to it other than that it's one more closer to the end. Having two good weeks was very nice. This time they premedicated me with two anti nausea meds. I pray it helps! I really want to enjoy my last week off before going back to work instead of hanging out in the bathroom. My chemo run takes about 5 1/2 hrs each time. Today I worked on CEU's for work and worked on my pictures from San Antonio. Erik came with to keep me company and drive me home. The only thing I am feeling when I get the chemo drugs are heart palpitations and dizziness. It's not bad and not continuous but it's there. Only 2 more big chemo sessions and then 12 weeklies.

Hair

Tuesday, the 19th of August 2014, I shaved my head in anticipation of my hair falling out post chemo. It was an intimate group of friends and family all gathered together at Sherri's Cut Company. Kelly, my hair dresser, was amazing! She prayed for me as we all stood in a circle and held hands before that first cut. I was emotional and Casey was there to take pictures of the whole ordeal.  It wasn't until I saw Jaelyn crying that I really lost it while I was getting my scalp rinsed off after the hair cut. There's something so personal about hair. For me it means that without it, people stare and know that I am sick. I hate that. I liked hiding behind my hair and acting normal even though cancer has taken over my life. No one knew it. To others it may mean I'm a survivor. I have to look at it like that. "I'm a survivor" seems weird to announce as I'm still not in the clear because I'm having treatments. But once they cut out my cancer, I was officially cancer-free. I will feel like a survivor after I complete the treatments I'm suppose to take. My mom reminds me that I used to have cancer. But not now. She's right too.

Day 4 after Chemo-Round 1

These last 4 days have been pretty much miserable, getting sick every time I stand up or move. But I think we are starting to see the end of that. I have found that if I push food in even when I'm queasy, it seems to help.  I'm finally able to get up and do stuff for myself.

We switched my hair appointment to Tuesday at 7pm so it's more private. The shop is closed on Tuesdays and this way no one I don't want there will be. It's emotional for me the way it is. I am very anxious over it.

This week, I have an echo on Wednesday but that's the only doctor appointment I have. Erik is going to come with me because it's so early in the morning and because I don't know how I will feel. I have to say, he has been a trooper through this. Not knowing what to do. Feeling helpless. I just reinforce that he taking care of the house and kids is helping me more than he knows. He is such a good husband for putting up with me and my requests. I love him for going through this with me. The kids are being helpful and doing their chores for me. Evan played cards with me yesterday and let me win because I have cancer. It's sweet. Jaelyn cooks me grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. Avery randomly came up and gave me a hug (something he usually doesn't do so it was a treat.) Braden has been a little more emotional worrying about me too but overall the kids are handling round 1 of chemo alright.

I dread going through this again and again for 15 more rounds. I am praying they will be easier on me.

Day 1 after chemo

Not feeling well-still throwing up/dry heaving and nauseated. Luckily I had to goto the chemo suite for my neulasta shot this morning and they suggested I stay for fluids via IV and meds-more steriods and nausea meds. So I stayed. I made my hair appt for the 20th for my head shaving. That's only in like 5 days! Scary! I'm leaning on others to be strong for me because I'm not feeling it today. 

6pm-I took a three hour nap when I got back from getting my fluids and woke up feeling just a little dizzy but good enough to eat supper. Knock on wood I haven't puked yet. Erik taking kids to practices and to friends, I have little boys with me. I pray a good night of sleep gives me energy tomorrow! Having a little more hope now that my head is out of the toilet.

First Chemo Day

1:50pm-Today is my first day of chemo. After begging Dr. Khoury to give me the go ahead even without a current echo on file, I'm sitting here finally getting my concoction. Three different chemos over several hours. So far so good. They gave me an antinausea medication called Aloxi which is suppose to last 3 days. Then some Decadron, a steroid to help with reactions I assume. We are starting with my cytoxan, the epirubicin, then 5FU. They had no problem accessing my port. It only felt like a pin prick. Erik took the day off to be with me. Love that man more than life itself! He's been overly attentive and loving. Just what this nervous Nelly needed! I went to a support group (which I said I would never goto) on Monday night and met 14 cancer patients/survivors. Two of the ladies from group (both named Debbie) came to my first chemo! One brought me snacks and came specifically to see me. And the other one volunteers for Can Care, a cancer organization and just happened to be volunteering today in the chemo suite. Shelly Is taking kids to dinner and a movie tonight so I can rest when I get home. Everyone is so kind and helpful! I have awesome friends!!

 

8pm- Have had a headache for a couple hours and have been nauseated since leaving the grocery store to pick up my Zofran. I ate some chicken noodle soup and crackers before laying down for a nap for my head and took Zofran. Zofran makes me dizzy and can cause headaches. I woke up and threw up. Time to get the Phenergan out. So we will see when I wake up if that helps or not. I expect to sleep until morning.

3 Weeks Post Op

Today I am feeling amazing! I have enough energy to run errands with the kids and get through an afternoon without a nap. I am in good spirits and feel like I am being given a 2nd chance at life. My mother in law's church family has been praying for me and discussing my miracle. And that's exactly what I feel like! A miracle! I'm so blessed to be here today. To be able to see the smiles and hear the laughter from my children. To hug my husband and pet my dogs. I'm just feeling blessed! So what's the next step in my journey? I am going on vacation this next week, with the blessing of 2 of my main doctors. We are going to Branson, MO to spend a week with my family, relaxing and enjoying one another's company. My siblings came to Houston when I was in the ICU after my first surgery but I of course barely remember them here because I was in a coma for 5 days. I didn't get to visit or enjoy them like I wish I could have. So this vacation we are celebrating life! When I get back I will be starting the journey of chemotherapy. August 14th is my first day that I am scheduled. I will do 4 rounds every 3 weeks and then I will change drugs and do it weekly for 12 weeks. So, a total of 24 weeks of chemotherapy is in the plans. Then I will start radiation for 33 consecutive cycles (not including the weekends). This brings us to February I think. I will have to wait 3 months or so to see how my skin reacts to the large doses of radiation before having my reconstruction surgery so that looks like it may happen closer to May or June 2015. I am just glad I have a plan! Now, what have I been up to only 3 weeks out of open heart surgery? Well, I have been on the go! I pick up Avery from practices, bring him to work, go to Walmart, go to lunch with friends and Erik, pay bills, write blogs, take naps, all the things I would be doing minus working. I am approved off of work until Sept. 11th. That will give me 2 sessions of chemo to see how my body reacts. Erik's cousin so graciously gave me her box of scarves to help hide my bald head and keep it warm in the winter months. Lucky for me, Houston is warm even in November! I have 2 wigs and numerous baseball caps to help keep me covered. People have been so gracious by sending checks and gift cards, and providing meals the first 6 weeks post operatively. My family feels the love being shared and we feel so blessed to have friends and family like we have. I look forward to getting into a new normal of life in the next few weeks as chemo will be my new normal. I also have to fit in cardiac rehab by the way 2-3 times per week. My weeks will be filled with appointments and running here and there but at least I can do it! I'm blessed beyond measure to be alive!

Open Heart Surgery

In order for me to get clearance for the revision surgery of the left breast, I needed to get cardiac clearance. My echo's they did in the hospital were ok but the cardiologist wanted me to have a stress test. So I opted for the nuclear stress test where they give you a radioactive solution in your vein and it makes your heart start to race just as if you were on the treadmill, but you really are just laying on the bed. It feels really weird! They saw something odd on that test and Dr. Avendano wanted me to have a heart catheterization which was scheduled for July 8th. July 3rd came and went without a hitch. Dr. Gill fixed my left breast with ease. July 8th came and went and the heart cath was performed. I was immediately admitted to Memorial Hermann The Woodlands to have a double heart bypass the following day because my heart cath showed a blockage in my widow maker or left main. This is very serious because you can just keel over and die with no notice. So I was a trooper and agreed to the bypass, as scary as that sounded. July 9th, I had my surgery and was scheduled to stay in the hospital for a week. I woke up with the intubation tube still in place and coughing. I tried to take the tube out but the nurses were quicker than me and stopped me. Said I had to keep it in for another 2 hours. It was so traumatic my mom couldn't even be in the room to watch me fight that damn tube. Once out of me, I calmed down and cooperated. I stayed in the ICU overnight and moved to my new room the following day. I ended up doing so incredibly well that I was released on Sunday, 3 days earlier than planned. I got my chest tube drains out prior to leaving, along with my external jugular central line IV. My mom changed her flight a total of 4 times in order to stay with me and help my family recover from all my surgeries. 3 surgeries in a month! OUCH!

Heart surgeon, Dr. Stephen Maniscalco 


Cardiologist, Dr. Amilcar Avendano 

2 Weeks Ago

My surgery was 2 weeks ago today, on June 13th (Friday no less). Didn't realize that was going to be a bad day for me being on Friday the 13th and all but it was. I don't remember the 6 days after my surgery because I ended up flat lining and needing CPR to come back. I was given 2-3 units of blood and at one time had 11 lines in me at the same time. I was cooled to 92 degrees to keep my brain functioning. I apparently had a seizure and now am on seizure medications for a short time. My family came from Iowa to be by my side as I laid in the ICU bed waiting to wake up. My mom is still here helping us out and meals are coming daily from the care calendar set up by my good friend Shelly Blest. My dad had to leave this past Wednesday to get back to work. I still have 4 drains, 2 weeks out, and just learned that I will have to have another surgery next week to repair one of the breasts that the tissue has died. I am all bruised up and my drains continue to put out a lot of fluid so they can't come out just yet.  I'm very nervous to go under the knife and anesthesia again. No one seems to know why all this happened which scares me because it could always happen again. I have had so much support throughout this whole ordeal. I really feel loved by all my family and friends. Chemo starts July 7th and between now and then I have a doctor appointment every day it seems with another specialty or labwork or preop. It's too much! I'm very nervous about chemo. I will have 3 different chemo drugs every 3 weeks for 4 weeks then switch to 1 chemo drug weekly for 12 weeks. Then maybe radiation. I have to ask my radiation oncologist on July 8th about that. I expect my hair to fall out by my second treatment on July 28th. I'm trying to take 8 weeks of FMLA after all I went through and having to have a second surgery. I pray that they help me out with that. Dr. Gill's NP said she would help me with the paperwork.

24 hrs To Go

Tomorrow is the big day! I don't know what to think about waking up boob-less from the 4 hr surgery. In a matter of a month, I was told I have cancer and my body will be cut open. In a matter of another month I will be starting chemo. Drugs will be put into me to kill my bad and good cells. My body will be at war as it tries to heal. I am getting anxious because from here on out I don't know what to expect. Feelings I never knew were there will surface and tears I am sure will flow. I sit out on my patio this morning reflecting back to the days my boobs were useful-used for feeding my babies. How can they go from such a good thing to something that's trying to kill me? Random thoughts are coming to mind but I know I am not alone in my journey. Friends, family, but more importantly, God, is watching over me and holding my hand as I take the next unknown step. 

A Blanket of Hope

For several months, Avery has been putting in prayer requests at church for various things and a lady by the name of Bonita has been praying for him. One Sunday she got 3 prayer requests from the Sheldon's and decided right then and there to start working on a tshirt blanket for me to let me know the church is praying for me everytime I use the blanket. I got to meet Bonita last week and was completely blindsided by her gracious gesture of love.

 

People from all over are wearing their team Sheldon shirts with pride. On the last day of school, Erik drove by the high school and saw two random students outside wearing their shirts. My OB/Gyn office and Dr Boyd sent me a picture of them all wearing their shirts. I can't wait to see everyone wearing them Friday, my surgery day.

 

 

We had a great time on our preop vacation with The Miller's in San Antonio. It was so relaxing and a much needed break from reality

. 

 

I got my preop testing done last week and my packet of info to read before my surgery from my plastic surgeon. He said I can't use my arms for 2 weeks and I would have drains in for that long. He plans on making a vertical incision and closing with surgical glue. I have to go in two hours before surgery to be injected with some kind of dye that will light up my sentinel nodes making it easier to see when they take them out. Right now my surgery is scheduled for 1pm. I will stay overnight for two nights. I can shower 48 hrs after surgery, even with drains in. I should get home on Father's Day. 

 

Lasts and Firsts

I feel like everything I do lately I'm doing for the "last time" before my cancer journey officially starts. I got a hair cut "for the last time" before my hair falls out from chemo. I'm going on a mini weekend vacation "for the last time" before my mastectomies. I am having to get groceries "for the last time" before my mom comes to help me after my surgery. Our "last" family photo before I have body altering surgery. I am trying to think of all the important things I want to fit in before it's too late. I'm viewing my life like BC and AC only it stands for Before Cancer and After Cancer. I know this is probably normal but it doesn't feel healthy. I know the morning of surgery I will want to remember the way my husband looks at me "for the last time" before my body changes. I will want to hug my kids "for the last time" before lifting my arms hurt. So many "lasts" before I have to start thinking in terms if "firsts" again. My first time I see myself in the mirror with my scars staring back at me. The first day of accessing my port for chemo. The first time I really feel like a cancer patient. The first time I get to announce to the world that I am a survivor! All these lasts and firsts really make me realize how much for granted I was taking my life BC.

How Are You Doing?

Everyone who runs into me; at the grocery store, in the halls at work, at the baseball fields, all are wondering the same thing...How Am I Doing? I really don't know how to answer that because in just 9 days my body will be cut on and I will begin my fight. I keep saying I don't have time for cancer and that's the truth. We are too busy of a family to have to come to a halt and deal with something as stupid as cancer. Erik has 2 share-a-thons this month. And my surgery is smack dab in the middle of them both. Avery has a big baseball tournament out of town for 5 days that I was dying to go to but now can't. I have been in research mode since I found out and feel like I'm researching a diagnosis for a patient. Not for myself. I really have only broke down once over this and that was on the way to Megan's house one morning, the morning after I found out. Sure I cried initially but since those first days, I haven't allowed myself to feel any of this. It's probably not a very healthy way to deal with it. I just don't want to cry in front of the kids because I don't want to scare them. And honestly, I have a sense of peace that I am going to be ok. Sure the chemo and possible radiation will suck but I can do it. Our whole family has been preoccupied with the t-shirt distraction too. I'm busy running shirts to people here and there besides all the other errands I have to run before my mom gets here for 9 days. And before our trip to San Antonio to get away from it all for the weekend with the Miller's. So "How am I doing?" I guess I really don't know. We will find out the morning of my surgery.

PET Scan Results and Surgery details

I had the PET scan yesterday at the Red Oak location since Kingwood's machine was down due to the weather. I got there and they injected me with the radioactive isotope. Then I had to wait an hour for it to get into my system. The actual time on the table only took 20-30 minutes and wasn't terrible. I went to the oncologist today to get results and they said there is no cancer to be seen anywhere else in the body except the left breast. PRAISE GOD!! I am having the BRCA test repeated as mine was negative 6 years ago. It tests for the cancer gene. I guess they are repeating it in case it wasn't read right before?? I'm really not 100% sure on that reasoning. I just stuck out my arm like a brave girl and gave them the blood. I did have to wait in the chemo suite while I waited to have the blood drawn and that was unpleasant. Just knowing I probably will be one of the youngest in there is weird. They all were staring at me, I'm sure wondering why I had to be there. Trust me, I have been asking why also! My surgery will be June 13th at Tops Surgical Hospital. It's a beautiful facility. I will have to most likely stay 1-2 days overnight. My mom is coming to help us June 16-25 and I can't wait. My mother in law has been wonderful helping with kids while I run to appointments. Not to mention she has been spoiling us with making supper for us. People want to help and I thank everyone who has offered. I will need help down the road I'm sure. And I will ask, I promise! I filed for FMLA and Short Term Disablilty today also. I feel like I'm getting things done. I'm on my third cancer book. I read "Any Day With Hair Is A Good Hair Day" and now I'm reading "Not The Year You Had Planned". Thanks Alissa and Theresa! It's keeping me preoccupied!

The prayers are still being felt and are working Team Sheldon! 

Visit With The Plastic Surgeon

So I met with the plastic surgeon, Dr. G., today. We discussed my options for reconstruction after the mastectomy and decided that the tissue expanders are the best route for me since I've already had a tummy tuck. (Secret is out of the bag!) They will place the expander in behind the muscle during my mastectomy and that part takes about an hour and a half. I will stay in the hospital for 1-3 days, depending on how I'm doing. They will not be able to fill the expanders immediately because they are unsure if I need radiation or not. If I don't need radiation, I can start adding the saline about a month after surgery. This process takes about 3 months to get the desired volume. Then I will have another surgery to insert the implant. I will be off work for 6 weeks for my first surgery and 2 weeks for the 2nd surgery. They may or may not need to do another surgery down the road for nipple reconstruction and fat grafting, which helps shape the breast. Now, everyone is thinking...what size will she go with? I haven't even discussed that with the surgeon yet! LOL! That's the talk we have before the 2nd surgery. The fills will take about 3 months to do, going weekly to the office for fills. 90% of Dr. G's patients choose silicone over saline. Dr. G does about 2 reconstructions per week=100 per year. Insurance will pay for reconstruction. I will still need to have mammograms with the implants. Reoccurrences are not harder to find with implants either. I plan on getting this shirt when it's all said and done:

Dr Paul Gill

Wiggin' out

Today my friend Dawn, Jaelyn, and Erik took me wig shopping. We went to Wig World off Kirby. They had a big selection and I tried on about a dozen before I found two that looked somewhat good on me. I got them both in a light brown/blond color. I am still somewhat in denial about all this so buying the wigs was a wake up call that my life is about to drastically change.

Meeting the Oncologist

Today started out with my MRI at TOPS. They had to stick me 5 times for an IV for the contrast and then I had to lay face down on the table, as still as I could be, for an hour! But during that time the nurse got my her2 results back and I'm negative, which means the cancer isn't as aggressive as it would be if it was positive.

Next was my much anticipated appt with Dr. K. He is such a nice guy and remembered me from working at the hospital. He said I needed a PET scan to check to see if the cancer spread to other parts of my body. I'm having that next Wednesday. Then he said those words I was hoping I wouldn't hear. I need chemo. He thinks I should have surgery first tho and in the next 2-3 weeks. Then chemo can start 3-6 weeks after that. I will get a port placed while in surgery to help save my veins. I still won't know if I need radiation until after my pathology report comes back. That would happen after the chemo. 

So I got the ball rolling...maybe a little too fast for my liking. I am sitting here thinking about how different my life will be in a month from now. Funny how life can be sometimes.