How Are You Doing?

Everyone who runs into me; at the grocery store, in the halls at work, at the baseball fields, all are wondering the same thing...How Am I Doing? I really don't know how to answer that because in just 9 days my body will be cut on and I will begin my fight. I keep saying I don't have time for cancer and that's the truth. We are too busy of a family to have to come to a halt and deal with something as stupid as cancer. Erik has 2 share-a-thons this month. And my surgery is smack dab in the middle of them both. Avery has a big baseball tournament out of town for 5 days that I was dying to go to but now can't. I have been in research mode since I found out and feel like I'm researching a diagnosis for a patient. Not for myself. I really have only broke down once over this and that was on the way to Megan's house one morning, the morning after I found out. Sure I cried initially but since those first days, I haven't allowed myself to feel any of this. It's probably not a very healthy way to deal with it. I just don't want to cry in front of the kids because I don't want to scare them. And honestly, I have a sense of peace that I am going to be ok. Sure the chemo and possible radiation will suck but I can do it. Our whole family has been preoccupied with the t-shirt distraction too. I'm busy running shirts to people here and there besides all the other errands I have to run before my mom gets here for 9 days. And before our trip to San Antonio to get away from it all for the weekend with the Miller's. So "How am I doing?" I guess I really don't know. We will find out the morning of my surgery.