Radiation on the T8

We drove downtown to MD Anderson on November 1st for my one time intense radiation treatment to the spine lesion on the T8. The procedure took an hour from set up to when I rang the bell for completion of treatment. I had to lay completely still, vacuum sealed on the table for 45 of those minutes. Not an easy task but one I kept reminding myself that I could do. When we got done we met with Dr. Yeboa and except for some back discomfort I have had no other side effects. Not sure if that’s from the inflammation or from having to lay so still on that table. I have been tired but only because I’m still not sleeping straight through the night from the hot flashes and sweats. Started on Prozac to help with that but I’m only seeing a slight improvement. I’m also off ibrance now so that should help with menapause symptoms. Next step is seeing Dr. Kovitz on November 15th for a routine checkup and to see up another liver CT. I think I should ask him if st anytime has my brain been scanned. Sometimes I can’t get the right words to come out when I speak and I don’t know if it’s just me thinking faster than my mouth can keep up or if it’s residual effects from when I was in the coma and down for so long during CPR in 2014. All I know is it used to be funny but now it’s getting annoying and I’m a worrier by nature so I want to cover my bases. Might bring that up with him. Then in February I will have a repeat MRI for the spine to make sure there’s no growth there. From July 2017 to September my lesion almost doubled in size so I pray this radiation killed it. It went from a 1cm spot to a 1.6 cm x 1.9 cm spot. To me that is fast growing. Considering in December of 2016 it was 4 mm. For now I’m going to try to enjoy the holidays and my family and try to rest as much as I can so I’m not stressed out. I deserve a cancer break! 

Dr. Debra Yeboa

Liver CT, radiation plan, and MDA Downtown

So much has seemed to have happened since my last post just weeks ago. For starters, the liver CT came back showing fatty liver infiltrates and not tumors or suspicious spots. Gotta love some good news! I was then referred to The Woodlands radiation department where I met Dr. Reed who looked at my case and decided since I have one cancer spot on the spine I was most likely the perfect candidate for stereotactic radiation, or higher doses of radiation with “intent to cure”. I was referred once again to the big dogs, the main campus of MDA downtown. Now I’ve been there with a friend before but this was going to be for my treatment and I was the patient this time. Walking through the halls I’d see all kinds of people in all stages of this horrible disease. I always feel like I have no business wearing the ID bracelet with my personal Med rec number on it. Like I’m too healthy. But I’m apparently not healthy just yet and need to have radiation again. Tomorrow I have an MRI in the evening because MDA never shuts down! My test is at 8pm. This will show the doctors if we are still dealing with only one spot or more. Then Friday at 3:15 I have my simulation or the test run for the real deal on October 31st at 2pm. I love how they have it all set up in my very own account where I can see labs, visit history, upcoming appointments, vitals, etc. This radiation is very intense and so precise that even 1mm off could cause problems so laying still on my back will be a challenge. Luckily if there’s only one spot I only have to have one session! I do run the risk of having a compression fracture (15-40% risk) because my bone will be weaker in that spot. But it’s so worth it to me if it means I may be in remission after this. We are loving the hope we are getting and seeing the promise God has made to us to care for us and heal me. Praise be to God!! 

MD Anderson and Dr Kovitz

Thursday afternoon Erik and I checked into registration at MD Anderson in The Woodlands and were greeted by my coworker's lovely daughter, which we quickly figured out during our visit. LaToya was so sweet explaining the forms and having me sign in. After finding out we would be seeing a different doctor than originally planned, we had about an hour or so to check out the St. Luke's gift shop. MDA in The Woodlands is located on the St. Luke's campus. When we returned to the waiting area my friend Megan arrived. She came along to be an extra set of ears for me and to take notes. I had already met with her earlier in the week to come up with a question list for the lucky doctor to answer. The nurse took me back and got my history from 2014 to current day typed up in the notes, my allergies, pharmacies, medications...business stuff. Then the social worker, Suki, came in and talked to me about their services and support groups for my family. She gave me information and they forms for advanced directives and living wills. Then came the physician assistant Tracy. She did my exam and asked me more questions just to get up to speed so she could fill in the doctor. When Dr. Kovitz came in, he instantly started addressing my list of questions. He needed more information like a CT of the liver specifically and he wanted to check labs again, making sure my counts weren't too low to start the Ibrance that evening. He said when I get my labs drawn they see the results within an hour! When I left there I felt we had a plan and not a wait and see approach either. I don't have time to waste on waiting plus I'm just not very patient and waiting makes my anxiety and insomnia worse. So I went to get labs and within 20 min or less Tracy the PA called to tell me to wait on restarting the ibrance for another week because my neutrophils were 0.72, and that is too low. This was reassuring to me that the doctor and PA were looking that closely at things such as neutrophils! I scheduled my CT scan and they offered me three locations to pick from at basically whatever time I needed due to my work schedule. I only have to fast for four hours and I get to drink the nasty contrast right there and not at home. My next scan will be Sept. 28 along with labs. I then will meet Dr Kovitz on Oct. 2nd for results. He said he was bringing my case to the breast cancer tumor board where multiple doctors from all different specialties meet to review my case and develop a safe plan of care. Lots of brains in the mix! I can't wait to hear what they decide is best for me. I learned that following a special diet isn't recommended and most are just a hoax. I can still drink Diet Coke and eat sugar in moderation. Just following a healthy diet is recommended by the dietician which they have for me to meet with if I choose to. I learned that in breast cancer patients CT scans are better than Pet scans. Not sure why but my insurance will like that. More affordable. I learned I will have CT Scans most likely every three months. If it's in the liver they most likely won't be able to do the intensive radiation but if it's not then in a few more rounds of ibrance we might do it to try to shrink the tumor on the spine. We still may need to biopsy the liver spot if they believe it's mets and it's not too small. I was filled with information Thursday but more importantly filled with hope and the energy to fight. I want aggressive treatment and not just a wait and see approach. I want my doctor to have a team behind him in all different specialties available to me with just a phone call or email. I want to know the answers before I think of the questions and I want honesty. I felt so good after walking out of that building and driving off the campus that day. Megan and Erik felt it too. Makes me sad to close the chapter of the book with Millineum Physicians and the team I've had up until this decision was made to transfer care but the game has changed and I need a new set of eyes and a new "quarterback" so to say to help me win the game! 

PET scan results and next steps

Went to the oncologist last week and got my labs and my scan results back. My Ibrance has caused my white count to go down to below normal at 2.2 after the first month and platelets 118. My CEA level is over 7. But what concerns everyone is the Pet scan showed a suspicious area measuring 1.3 cm in the right lobe of the liver. They aren't calling it a lesion but they do say it is suspicious for metastatic cancer. I was totally defeated! Another area of mets to worry about! So that sort of pushed me to making the patient referral to MD Anderson Cancer Center in The Woodlands location. I need a second opinion to make sure I'm getting the answers I need to hear before I can even think of the questions. I need more aggressive treatments I feel due to the fact if this is cancer my time is precious to me and I need a bigger medical army to help me fight. MDA specializes only in cancer and they might have clinical trials I haven't no idea about. Maybe they will say I'm on the right path and that's ok too. I just don't want to go down without ever having consulted the big dogs. Erik will take a half day and I may see if my friend Megan can come since she's a nurse and has been through this with her mom just a few years ago. We need someone who isn't as emotional tied to this to think of questions for and with us. 

Hugging

People are hugging me a lot more these days and I noticed they hold on longer and squeeze tighter. Now I'm all one for a good hug. They say you need 7 a day. But it's upsetting when I know the reason people are hugging for so long. It's because they are feeling sorry for me I think and I don't like that. People treat me like I have a death sentence when they hear about my cancer returning. In fact I had a nurse tonight talk to me because she was a hospice nurse in the past and she wanted to tell me if I had questions I could come to her. Super nice but I'm sooooo not there! I know people want to plan a meeting with me or even better a trip to meet. Now I love that but not if it's because they think I'm dying soon...I'm not. I'm still doing what I do. Work, family, housework, etc. I'm still just a regular mom who happens to have stage four cancer. I may be in denial how this works, I don't know. But for now please hug me because you love me and just want a quick hug. Not because you want to mourn over me before it's time. 

Bucket List and my thoughts

So I can't sleep. This is nothing new these days now that I'm officially in menopause. I have been searching Pinterest for bucket list ideas and ya know what? I realized I have done a lot of things in my life that I wanted to do. Have a baby. Get married. Send a child to college. Goto the Bahamas. Have a best friend. Rescue a dog. Have my dream job. Visit Vegas. Those are just a few. I have more that I would like to do. And everything involves money. Sometimes the little things are the biggest on your bucket list when faced to make one. Will I ever meet my celebrity crush? Not likely. Will I ever have wine and pasta in Italy? Maybe but I doubt it. I want the little things to matter most. Take each of my kids on a weekend get away alone. Write a letter to myself to be opened 10 years from now. Keep this blog up for my children. Scrapbook more. Take more photos of myself and be proud of how I look, scars and all. It's the little things that they will remember. It won't matter if I see the tulips in Holland because I've seen them in Orange City, Iowa. It won't matter if I don't make it to Bora Bora because I've seen waters blue as blue can be and sand as white and soft as snow. I'm realizing my list is just a list and maybe I need to be more realistic and do things now that make memories here, right here where I am now. 

Hurricane Harvey Delays My Treatment Plans

I'm suppose to have a PET Scan tomorrow however with the bad weather and the flooding around Kingwood hospital I am unable to have it, therefore, I will have to cancel my appt with Dr. Khoury as well on Thursday because I will be working. Cancer is going to have to take a backseat to my real life right now I'm afraid. I started my ibrance and femara this weekend and besides a little nausea the first day, I've been fine. Hope that continues. I have noticed the hot flashes and night sweats have picked up from before when I was just on the tamoxiphen. Guess I'm truly in menopause now. So I will get things rescheduled once this weather calms down and the roads are passable. I'm anxious to see what a PET Scan would show these days since it's been years since insurance improved one.

Lord help us please

Today in about 30 min we leave to take Erik to the airport to fly to Iowa to be with his Burbank family as they wait for grandpa Wendell to pass. So many emotions as I see grandpa on FaceTime laying in that hospital bed surrounded by his loved ones. With Erik leaving that leaves me to move Avery to college Thursday and Friday all alone. I'm very anxious about that. What if the car breaks down? What if I don't know where I'm going? I'm leaving my baby at a foreign place and don't know when I will see him again before fall break in October! Not only that but he has been told he has an enlarged right ventricle and it needs cleared by cardiology before he can play ball. What if that doesn't get done Thursday and he has to have additional testing? Where will we get that done and how will he get home to do it? Will he miss class? I am still waiting to hear about when my Ct scan will be this week and I start my new meds Monday. Which freaks me out and makes me nauseated already. All these worries and none of its happened yet. I'm a mess! Anxiety ridden mess! Is this my new normal? When will Satan stop attacking us and when will I learn to give it completely to the Lord? I'm sure all this will work out the way it's going to and should. I'm sure there will be surprises along the way but overall no one will any worse off. Yes, grandpa is dying but soon he will not be in pain or discomfort and soon he will be reunited with grandma Bobbi. So in the grand scheme of things life will go on. And so will my life. I still hate writing updates on Facebook and having people say they are praying for me and my family. Why? Because I feel like they are feeling sorry for me and making it seem like I'm already dying. I'm totally not! Not even close! Just overwhelmed with a new diagnosis and a new plan of care. I love the prayers, don't get me wrong but I hope to soon put up good joyous news on Facebook to praise God in this storm!

Avery's post on instagram

Outpouring of love and prayers

I get so overwhelmed when I post on Facebook and the prayer warriors join together in prayer and pray for my situation. I feel less than deserving because there are days I simply forget to pray for my family through this. There are days all I do is lay in bed and feel sorry for myself because I'm "too tired" or just don't want to do the mom things that day because I have a now chronic illness. Depending on how my body reacts to the treatment, possibly a terminal illness. Scary when you hear that and you are 42 years old with four kids that still need you. Scary when you look in your husbands eyes and find fresh tears where once a strong man stood looking back at you. Erik is my rock in all sense of the term tho. He sees beyond all my surgical scars. He loves me when I'm being lazy and tired and takes care of things for this family. He worries about things while I rest like bills and kid issues. He is single handedly running this family right now and I'm alive kicking and testing him to see how he does. I need to find my purpose in the day to day when my kids don't need me like they used to. I need to get my affairs in order as all of us should, not because I'm dying but because I'm alive and still can do it pain-free. I need to step up my game so to say. It's all about time now. If the oncologist said I have "years" but couldn't specify between five to twenty years then I need to pray for quantity of life based off of treatment responses. One day at a time. That's all any of us have really. Time to get busy living with a purpose then! 

Next plan of action

As much as I want to be on the beach today I am not. Today we got 100% confirmation that my breast cancer has spread to the bones (spine to be exact). I will be starting on oral chemo medications as well as monthly shots, having a PET scan and CT Scan of the abdomen (for pain related to my recent surgery), labs and more over the counter meds like calcium and vitamin D. This is not the news we wanted to hear at all but I'm still alive and kicking! I still have toilets to clean and laundry to do. Still have kids to raise and send off to college next week. Still have curfews to enforce and chores to hand out. I'm alive and will continue to be a mom, a wife, a nurse...caring for everyone around me.

Robotic BSO (bilateral ovary removal)

Goodbye to my ovaries. You've done good over the years. Made eggs to allow me to hatch four beautiful babies. But now your purpose is done as you've become a pain filled with cysts, this last being 9 cm! You feed my breast cancer with the estrogen and progesterone you make and that's not acceptable any longer. So I had you cut out and now I'm being thrown into menopause at the young age of 42. 

The surgery went as well as could be expected. Dr. Boyd was able to use the robot and get through somemscar tissue and adhesions with ease. I went in at 5:30 am for my 7:30 am case and was home by noon. Really only felt like I did 1000's of sit-ups and like something was stuck under my right rib cage. Had issues all day and night especially with pain meds and itching. Took Benadryl 50 mg 30 min prior to taking my Tylenol #3. I had some Percocet left from a previous surgery and thought I would try that to help me sleep comfortably in my bed but I was wrong. Nothing stopped that itching and I was up most of the night, hence the 5:30 blog post. Some of the things I get to look forward to will be hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, weight gain, and mood swings just to name a few. Usually they give women estrogen patches or pills to take to calm down those pesky symptoms but not me! That would rev up my cancer growth. The great news was the 9cm mass on the right ovary was NOT cancer! They sent it off for a frozen section while in surgery and found out before closing me up. So now I'm home until my follow up appt for sure on the 17th and I'm really looking forward to that time with the kids. Especially Avery since he will be leaving  the 24th for college. 

A day full of appointments

Had a very long day after working all night. Started with my preop appt at my gyn's office. Then checked in for my preop appt at the hospital. Four needle sticks later they got my blood finally. I look and feel like a pin cushion! Then lastly we met with my regular oncologist. The next logical step besides getting my ovaries out and those being sent to pathology is to biopsy the lesion on my spine. He does not want to call it metastatic breast cancer until he has positive proof. Most likely that will happen sometime in the week of the 7th. Results appointment won't be until the 17th. All depends on if the interventional radiologist can get to the lesion or not, if not they will push for a PET scan. I did ask if he would help out if we wanted a second opinion or referral to MD Anderson and he said that he would help us if we wanted to do that. Right now however, since biopsies and pathologies are the next step we will stay put.

Our NO CANCER day was a success!

God's Promise to always take care of me

My rock and biggest supporter 

Four of the biggest reasons I continue to fight

Today we celebrated life together by having a NO CANCER day and hanging out with friends at the beach. It was a gorgeous and absolutely spectacular day! My people are my world. They make me laugh and have taught me to love harder and to look at the future as a gift. They amaze me everyday at how they are growing into these little amazing humans who I made and who are turning before my very eyes into fantastic people! I love you my babies! Don't forget God's promises and what He has done for us this far. Miracles have happened in our past and can continue to happen with faith. Be faithful in your walks and honor God even in the storms of life. 

Feelings Around My House

Yesterday I got the news that my ovarian tumor markers were normal! That's a huge game changer in terms of surgery next week. Doesn't look like a gyn/onc will have to be there afterall. Unless she just wants another opinion. We won't know 100% until the pathology report comes back but I'm feel confident that something is going our way. We also had prayer at the church last night and our close friends and my mother in law came to support us. It was very nice and felt good to know the church knows now and will be praying for us as we go through this journey. I sat with Avery for a long time last night talking about his feelings. He was thinking he needs to be the big brother and step away from going to Austin and playing ball and just stay home and get a job and go to Lone Star. I told him I would never want to stand in the way of his dreams and this is an opportunity of a lifetime for him that I want him to take. We talked about how he feels like people are feeling sorry for us. I explained bringing food and praying for us are ways people can help in a helpless situation. Jaelyn has been going to a therapist for the past few months and it's time to start family counseling I think before Avery goes away to school. At least meeting once as a family unit. We are a team and need to all be able to open up and talk. Braden worries me as he isn't talking about it at all. He's hiding behind his phone, playing games, acting uninterested and untouched. But I know he is a momma's boy and he is hurting inside. Evan's been really lovey and gives alot of kisses and hugs and Jaelyn is just pissed at the world. Her and Erik got into a big fight over nothing really in the middle of Chili's the night before last and he stormed out. He is hurting too. It's easy to forget about his feelings because he's so worried about the kids and me. He always puts himself on the back burner and tries to fix it all. This isn't fixable for him. Only God can perform a miracle. I know I am praying for intentional time with my family, treatment that will keep me around pain free for a long time, and to praise Him in this storm. Just like the song says.

My thoughts on all of this...Well, of course it sucks! I hate it! I want to run away and hide from it. I'm scared of dying. I'm afraid of the unknown including what is going to happen to my body before I die. Will I be in pain and if so will the doctors be able to control the pain with pain meds that make me itchy or give me hives. How will that work? The fear of the unknown is the worst. I am a planner and want to write things down so I don't miss something. I want to know the overall game plan. And waiting is not something I'm good at.  This blog has been a place for me to journal my appointment results and upcoming surgeries. I haven't really used it as a sounding board for my feelings until now. I will be weak at times, strong at others, but this is about to get real. Real for my kids. I am going to be honest as I walk this journey so that one day my husband can print this off and give to my kids so they know I loved them and fought for them. I will write letters in here for them and if you are someone that reads this on a daily basis, you may learn things you weren't necessarily prepared for. I don't know what I will write but I do know I'm going it all for them.

Big Changes In A Short 6 Months

Things have been quiet until about 3-4 weeks ago in the Team Sheldon 6 household. Well, not quiet since I have four busy kids but normal busy. No worries about anything cancer related. No thoughts of it actually. Then at my 6 month visit with Dr. Khoury, I get the news that my CEA level was 7.4, elevated as normal is less than 3. Where was that stemming from? He ordered a bone scan and CT scans of the chest, abdomen, and pelvis since my lovely insurance company would deny a PET scan. He went from wanting to see me in 6 months to 6 weeks with all these tests completed. I had the bone scan and after it was completed, I looked up and saw it. Bright as day. A spot on my T8 vertebrae. Couldn't be! But the nurse who got the results quickly left me a message that I would need an MRI of the thoracic spine to rule out any abnormalities. I had that the very next day. The radiologist who read the report at Kingwood Hospital chalked the spot up to a "schmorl's node". Which has something to do with degenerative disc disease and getting older. I was having pain in my spine and wasn't convinced this was that. I was persistent about asking for a CT scan to look closer at that spot and my doctor caved and ordered it. I mean, I was having the other CT scans so why not add another? I also pushed to have my scans earlier than originally scheduled by about 2-3 weeks. My mother's intuition sent red flags up about that node diagnosis that everyone was playing off. I didn't buy it for a second and I was so uneasy about waiting for the results. I had the CT scans on Tuesday. Tuesday night I worked and was wanting the report in the morning. It was noon before I heard anything and after hearing, "The doctor wants to you to come in for results", I sort of turned off my brain. In my experience with cancer and as a nurse, that was never a good thing to hear. I made my appt Thursday morning at 8:45 with Dr Guo, one of the oncologists in the group as my doctor was out of the country. She was so pleasant and kind! I felt bad that she had to tell me the spot when compared to my scans in December had grown from a 4 mm lesion to a 1 cm lesion in seven months. Because of that growth while even on tamoxiphen, a hormone suppressant I take daily, I was now considered a stage 4 metastatic cancer patient. Breast cancer with mets to the bone. To top that off they found a 9x9 cm cyst on my right ovary. Those were checked out several years ago and considered to be "ovulatory cysts" so I wasn't surprised about having one, just the size of the one I had in there. When pushed on, it is sore otherwise it wasn't causing me any problems. I left the office 30 minutes later in shock over hearing I am now advanced in my cancer and it's back. I was enjoying being in remission! I am sending a kid off to college in a matter of a month! What is happening? We brought a copy of the CT scan to my OB/GYN office for Dr. Boyd to evaluate and she made me an appt to see her and discuss my options for treatment on Friday morning. Erik and I sat in the same parking lot when we first were diagnosed in May of 2014 and cried together as we called our moms. We called a family meeting for 11am with the kids and told them. Hardest. Thing. Ever! I have never wanted to look them in the eyes and give them this news. To tell them that a stage 4 is treatable but not curable is devasting. I held Evan while he cried in my arms and watched as Jaelyn quickly excused herself to her room to be alone in her thoughts and tears. Avery and Braden were stoic and clammed up. Neither had questions for me. Erik's mom came over just to sit with us before our next appt of the day, the plastic surgeon. See, Dr. Gill was found to not be taking my insurance anymore and so I had to switch my plastic surgeon back to Dr. Berzin. We had a nice visit to establish a relationship and decided that having a reconstruction surgery was probably not in my best interest while my health was unstable. It would most likely cause an uproar in my immune system and not allow my body to attack and spend energy on the cancer, but instead, the surgery site. Not a good idea if I didn't need the surgery. I am ok with that for now. He was such a peace for us. Amy and Stuart came over with food from Erik's work for supper. It was nice to talk to them about stuff. Avery had his girlfriend and his friend over and so the kids were distracted and playing games together. Overall, a much needed night. I'm not sleeping well the past three nights. Taking benadryl and still my mind races and I wake up. I'm hoping getting this down on the blog helps. Facebook has been blowing up with private and public messages. I have gotten a few phone calls even. It surprises me that people are wanting to come to Humble to visit me. I am not up for that right now because I'm still working night shift full time and raising busy kids. It's stressful to have people come visit. But I get where their heart is. I'm just not up for entertaining people right now. Maybe once the schedule at work slows down I will be more apt to inviting people to come into my home and visit from out of town. I pray people don't get upset in my decision. I just need time to process and get a plan in order for my treatments. I see Dr Khoury next Thursday with repeat labs and to make a game plan and time line. Then I will know more. For now, I wait and soak up every moment with my family I can have.

Update after surgery on 1/21/17

It's 5:30 pm and I just went on my first walk around the nursing unit. I have been able to get out of bed by myself (standby from Erik). Millers just left after a nice visit, a Diet Coke, and some Nothing Bundt Cakes. I switched to Tylenol with codeine already from the Dilaudid because of the intense itching. I hope it holds out for four hours until next dose. I feel like I have a Charlie horse in my back muscle and that I got punched in the back. My chest is sore too from where they put the flap but everything is covered so I have no idea what it looks like. I ended up with two drains, both draining quite a bit. Kids coming to visit tonight and Jaelyn and Erik will sleep here. I'm going get home tomorrow although I was offered to go home tonight if I wanted. I totally could but wanted to make sure I had a decent night. They have food room service here and I get to call anytime for a meal. When I called for lunch they said I was on a soft diet and wouldn't even let me get fresh fruit or veges or anything grilled. I had the nurse call the doc to quickly change that to no restrictions or that could've been a deal breaker! LOL! Overall, I'm pleasantly surprised with how I feel. I'm sure there will be days but for now I will chalk it up to God's mercy!

I will spare you all the front picture!

December 28th Surgery until Today

Surgery went off with out a hitch. They found a vein right away for my IV and I knew I was going to be ok. Seriously though, the fat grafting was NO JOKE! My flanks were bruised up and sore and it was sore to even touch my back at all. The surgeon ended up doing a breast lift with the implants, getting rid of the excess skin plus the fat grafting, aka liposuction. No nipples just yet. He didn't know about the blood flow to the left radiated breast so he didn't want to do too much to soon. I guess nipples will happen in the office down the road this year. I was home by the early evening and just took it easy for a week before going back to work. Well, that was all fine and good until my 3rd week hit. I got the ok to take off the surgical tape holding my incisions together on week 3. So off they came. I worked that night with no issues. I came home and went to sleep for the day and when I woke up, there was blood in my bra and I had a stinging discomfort under my left breast. I quickly looked at it and found a 2 inch wound in my incision line. I called Dr Gill and he said he wanted to see me in the office the following afternoon. So I worked that night but tried to be really careful with that side. When I got home and went to bed it still was only about 2 inches long. When I woke up it was a 5x2 inch wound! I saw Gill in the office and he took one look at me and decided not to close me up in the office under local anesthesia but instead take me to surgery again. This time we discussed doing the latissimus flap, exchanging out the implant if needed, and cleaning up and closing the wound. Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow, a Saturday no less, in the morning. I had to get blood work and have my preop paperwork done today. Will have to take a shower tonight and tomorrow with a special soap to clean away any germs. The incision is now 7x3 inches I would guess. Doesn't look good at all! Only me...leave to to me to have this happen to. So for today I try not to worry but anxiety is getting the best of me. I'm nervous about the flap part. They take skin and muscle from your back and move it to the breast to cover the breast. This helps blood flow and structure of the breast. It's really quite amazing what they can do and how one body part can help save another.

So the plan is that I will go to the hospital Saturday at 8:30 am and most likely be in the OR by 10am. The surgery takes 3 hrs approximately from what Gill said. I will spend the night in the hospital for 1-2 nights depending on how I'm doing. I will have drains again. Then it's a full 6 week recovery. No work for 6 weeks. No lifting, pushing, pulling, cleaning, carrying laundry baskets, no side or stomach sleeping, and NO lifting my arm for that time either. I have enough PTO to cover 3 weeks fully paid and then short term disability will kick in at 60% before taxes which is less than half of what my check usually is. It's not enough but it's something.